How to Say No Respectfully

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By Jason Blacker

You wouldn’t think that writing an article about how to say no would be a great idea when it comes to time management. But I’m absolutely serious when I say that learning to politely say no, can not only increase your productivity but also garner you more respect.

Read on as I share my personal strategies to keep friends and colleagues happy, earn more money, gain more respect and be more productive by using just 3 little words:

No thank you – or words to that effect.

Firstly seek to understand

Unless you’re a toddler, coming out and yelling no, no, no, is not going to engender good will towards you. On the one hand, we have been encouraged to say no from an early age. Just say no to drugs we are told. But at the same time, we’re taught that good boys and girls do as they’re told.

So it becomes hard to utilize the negative when something is requested of us. On top of that, we are social animals and as such, how we interact with others and how well others think of us is important for our own self worth.

So how do we overcome this difficulty and learn to say no and at the same time become more productive?

The first step as identified above is to understand. Devote your full attention to what is being requested of you. Rephrase what is being asked of you to ensure that what you are about to decline is perfectly understood.

If someone has been really listened to and understood, the slight they might feel when you turn them down will be at most negligible. Show them they are valued - This is key.

Secondly be honest, polite and respectful

Let me give you an example. If your boss is requesting that you go and buy him or her lunch, but that is not in your job description, this is an excellent example of an opportunity to say no.

Try something like this. “John, I’m really under the gun at the moment with that report that our best client needs by end of day tomorrow. I just can’t swing it and give them our best. I’m sorry, I hope you understand.”

This way you have politely given a valid reason as to why you can’t manage their request but at the same time you haven’t made it personal or combative.

Thirdly, as a last stop measure, negotiate

Try something along these lines. “John, I’d love to go grab you a sandwich. But I’m swamped with this report for our best client. If you could just put in the last financial statement, that would free me up the time to grab your sandwich.”

Oftentimes, you’ll find that the requestor will change his or her mind when given a choice like this.

So there you have 3 effective strategies on how to say no. I’m sure you’ll agree, that if you can say no to legitimately unfair requests of you, you will certainly become not only more effective but more productive with your time.